I've been wondering about GBO. Can you give me any updates on that gal!? Also the same for Maya. If you can, please tell them that DBers misses them like silly!
Spoke with GBO for a second this AM. She lost her grandmother recently (after just losing Grampa last month) and has been grieving that - and her H, I suppose. She's also been busy with work. Sends her hellos to everyone.
Please give GBO my love and sympathies, I miss her terribly.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
The call every parent dreads - 2 AM - "Hi this is the police. Do you know where your daughter is?"
D14 snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to go riding in a car with her 16 year old "boyfriend" (D14 is not allowed to actually date, he is allowed to come over once a week and watch a movie with her). He ran a stop sign and got stopped by the local police, who luckily questioned her age and called me.
D had been told last week that she couldn't go driving with BF because A) she's still on restriction and not allowed to be unsupervised B) she's 14 and not allowed to be with a boy unsupervised and C)he's just gotten his license and is not what I would consider an experienced driver (and I thought in California a 16 year old couldn't take other teens in their car with them for the first 6 months after getting their license?).
So I went down and collected her from the police officer. She was tearful and remorseful but frankly I don't think she gets the big picture.
Now D is asleep (in MY room) and I am so wired now I can't sleep (and I was EXHAUSTED when I first went to sleep at 11).
H is not here, he is staying at a beautiful nearby hotel for a business meeting. I was supposed to stay there with him, my mom was going to stay with the kids, but she got called away because her sister is dying. (Thank GOD my mom wasn't here to get the call, she's 73, she probably would have had a heart attack!).
Tomorrow night I was planning to go stay overnight in the beautiful hotel with my H, since S13 was going to be staying at a friend's and I thought S18 and D14 could stay alone for one night if I was just down the road - it's only 10 minutes away - but I guess that is impossible now.
People keep trying to tell me this is just normal teenage rebellion on D's part, but I really don't buy it. It just feels too reckless, too abnormal, too much a part of her underlying mood disorder. I am SO ready to be DONE with her adolescence already, and she's only 14!!! Heaven help me.
Wow, Ellie, talk about good news and bad in just a couple days! It's a good thing that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Do the police actually check how long a kid has had a license? What did the BF's parents think of this? I hope they will be keeping a closer eye on him now.
She's 14, so of course she doesn't get the big picture yet. She's lucky to have strong parents who will help her through adolescence.
Ain't parenthood wonderful?
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Thanks for dropping by my thread and the great advice it really helped!
Sorry to hear about D14. Teenage rebellion. Boy do I remember that. Positive is thank God it was not worse. Is D14 in counselling or anything? Do you think that might be useful? Just a thought. Take care.
I'll be talking to BF's parents tomorrow (today, I guess? After the sun comes up, anyway). I'm surprised they let him out that late - his dad has always seemed to be pretty careful about supervising the two of them together, so it seems out of character that he would let his son drive around at 2 AM. But his parents are divorcing and I don't know if he is playing them off against each other (maybe they each think he is staying with the other parent?).
I am thinking H should go speak to the young man.
Quote: Wow, Ellie, talk about good news and bad in just a couple days!
Yeah, can you beat it? One kid gets into Berkeley, the other's trying to get into juvenile hall!!!!!
Quote: Is D14 in counselling or anything? Do you think that might be useful?
HS - D has been in counseling for an eating disorder for over a year - her psychologist just "cut her loose" last month (saying she was well enough she didn't have to come anymore). She still sees a psychiatrist for her medications (she's on Prozac for bulimia and depression).
What caused your D's depression issues? Prozac can also cause anxiety as I'm sure you already know, so that might be causing some of her behaviour.
I just wanted to give you a perspective from a 16 yr old's point of view (which I remember clearly - I am now 27).
I was thrown out of home at age 16 for refusing to give up my bf (who later became my H). Prior to this my mother felt in a similar way to you about me having a bf. She wouldn't let us have any unsupervised time together apart from the time he drove me to and from college (he was 19 and my cab driver).
She would constantly ask questions about what we'd been up to and tried to tell me the age of consent was 18 (it's 16 in the UK). She packed me off to my grandmothers for A MONTH to try and split us up.
In the end I was doing what your D is doing, sneeking out in the evenings, running off with him after college, making out in cars because we never got any space.
In the end, she flipped and said if I didn't give up bf I had to leave. I loved bf so I left. We rented a house together an hour away so she couldn't bug us. We continued our education, we got engaged and he asked me to marry him. We chose to have each one of our children, even the one I was pregnant with at 18. This surprises many people, but she was planned, wanted and loved.
Despite our M problems etc I don't regret anything I did and I'm still with my H now even if it is a bit tentative.
Some kids will just do what they want no matter what you say, and the more you push, the more they rebel.
I know your D is 2 years younger than I was and as a mother you have to look out for her and I know she has these extra problems, but have you thought maybe if you eased up with the bf she might not sneek out etc?
(Not wishing to offend - but had my mother not been so anti-bf I would not have moved so soon, and not as far away).
If she has to be supervised for certain reasons, can you not invite her bf over twice a week instead of once? I know this seems like rewarding bad behaviour, but she's doing this because she isn't allow and if you allow her more maybe she won't behave like that.
Jo.
Who fell in love at 16 and is still just as in love with the same man.
Also the same for Maya. If you can, please tell them that DBers misses them like silly! 
