Hi Dawn, thanks. Yes, I see that past hurts that have resurfaced are causing a lot of this. and that makes me confront the issues of trust that still face me/us, and what I perceive as H's refusal to meet my needs in that area. THAT is current "stuff", and perhaps, no, I'm sure, that is the biggest issue before me now. and I don't know how it can/will/might be resolved when I've told H what I need done and he just so far has pretty much refused to do it. Maybe he is doing "substitute" things that he feels should suffice, and I don't see them. that is a possiblity.
One things for sure, I am going to take your advice and "chill out" for a while this weekend. even if it's just pulling the blankets over my head for a nap. that's saved my sanity more than once.
