Take Ellie's advice and try to relax. You are starting to spin! What is it that has gotten you to this point? Try to think back....what are you so worried or unhappy about? What started this? It can not be ALL of those things you listed. My advice would be to try and figure out what has triggered this. When you recognize it....deal with it. Take on THAT issue and only that issue and put an end to it.
You are throwing out a lot of harmful assumptions here. Be careful that you are not creating more trouble than you really have.
