boy, those old checks sure stirred up a hornets nest of emotions for me, and now I'm having to work hard to keep from letting myself get all work up....I just keep feeling the hurt and anguish. and marveling at how much money he was tossing away on her... Now I find it hard not to become obsessively watchful of "stuff" again...for instance, I just drove by her suv, she's parked in the street (ha!) and noticed her back window is dirty...immediately I wondered "was she at our hourse while I was gone for S's class last night?". We live on a rural road and vehicles get dirty...however, she also drives 25 miles a day on a rural interstate, and it's been muddy and rainy here for the last week. I don't know that it's any dirtier than it would be from that.
SOMEHOW I have got to get this out of my head and get my focus back onto bringing joy to our R. just when I think I'm making progress. However, I havent done or said anything stupid yet, God Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
