STILL morphing 4

[sage]

I have been wondering though, it seems like I am beginning to have more success since I made an absolute commitment to not say word 1 about A/ow/R/H's activities. I wonder why that is??????? it doesnt make a lot of sense to me. I wonder if my perception is accurate? have other experienced this? I guess it helps prove the old adage around here, "what you focus on expands, what you resist persists"

WHY would this be????? it seems so opposite to what one would expect. The only clue I have is when almost a year ago, H commented on what a great "strategy" it was (even before I was REALLY going all out with it) to not say/do anything because it made him have to stop and think about what he was doing. Does that make any sense? I'd love to figure out this little puzzle. maybe it is all "vibes".....

Here are some of the reasons I think it works in my sitch:

1. what you focus on expands

2. when I bring up ow it's after I've torqued myself up pretty badly...that means that I've spent precious energy focusing on the BAD instead of enhancing the good.

3. when I bring up ow, it creates a sense of hopelessness for both h and me.

4. when I bring up ow, it shouts "a lack of forgiveness" which is a killer of any R

5. when I focus on ow, I remind my BODY and my MIND what it feels like to be sad, victimized, depressed, etc...that translates into my actions, feelings, moods, etc...all of which translate into the way I treat h

6. not bringing up ow puts the responsibility back onto h for his behavior, his fidelity, his commitment to the m

I think most simply, though, for me...when I do stuff that makes me feel crappy, it makes me act crappy. And crap into a M makes for crap out of a M. ya know?

Sage