Quote: Is that the one where someone gets slapped up side the head? LOL
yep, that's the one! every now and then it jumps into my mind when I get one of those "reality rub" type of reminders...it just seems such an accurate picture of things.
I saw H for a few minutes before I ran S into class tonight, and he seems to be feeling much better, I think he had mostly a sinus infection. I'm glad he's feeling better, wish I could finally shake all this stuff. I'm better, I'd say probably at about 70% and holding, but I'm so tired of this!!!! I don't have any more temps, but still some coughing, and i get really tired easily. of course I guess it's progress that I've worked all week, and last week I could hardly get out of bed all week.
I saw ow as I dropped S off at class, she sat in her vehicle at the far end of the parking lot while I dropped S at the door. weird. I guess it will be hard for me for a long time when I see her. I picked up "not just friends" again two nights ago, I had to put it down before xmas, it was just making me too upset for some reason. Anyway, maybe I'm not doing too badly, because it talks about how hard it can be to deal with flash backs, and that anything can throw a person into one, and just getting a glimpse of the affair partner can bring one on. It recommends avoiding things/sites/places that stir up flash backs. I cant avoid her, I saw her 2X today...and I'm still functioning, so maybe that isnt too awfully bad. I still find it REALLY hard though, because it just brings back all the lies and trauma and reminds me that I still REALLY don't know for sure that it's over....
I guess a couple of "good" (hopefully) things I should post: before I left for class tonite, I walked through the garage to tell H 'bye. he came in the door, and said he'd been out front to catch me to tell me goodbye and not found me....so HE's MAKING AN EFFORT! Also, last weekend he was talking about signing up for another workshop in May, it's on the day of our anniversary, and the day after....I didnt say a word, but he himself said "I wouldnt sign up on (A-day) of course, but I might try to go the next day"...then he commented "doesnt it ever come on a Saturday" in reference to our anniversary...Frankly, I was kinda surprised he even thinks about it at all, let alone 2 months ahead of time. I might try to pull off a kidnapping that weekend, even if it's just a short over-nighter.
lordy, this takes a long, long time to work through. I just hope and pray someday he will let me know for sure the A is over and done and history. I cant imagine that he's thinking of leaving any more, he seems so much happier at home, and just more at peace in general, than he used to. I only pray my instincts are right!
So, for now, I just keep on biting my cheek, trying to act as if and lose weight, and enjoy life as much as I can.
So what's going on with you Dawn? how's your H sitch, your pup...and most importantly your health? I hope you are well over the health stuff you've had going on.
