Good to hear that you are going to the doc. I hope that he/she can do something to make you feel better. You are right this flu is lousy! Get some rest and drink some OJ.
Just a teeny, tiny criticism from me.... I know that your goal is not to mention ow. I think that this is an excellent plan. I can also imagine how hard it is for you. I know in my heart that I would never be able to do it, so I give you all props for trying. That said, I do have to point out that just because you don't mention her by name doesn't mean that you are not, in fact, mentioning the situation! I think I have read a least a few times that you have indirectly brought her/their relationship up to h. Whether it's saying, "I feel insecure about 'it'" or the poking comment, your h will interpret that as bringing up ow.
You are right that your h is being ridiculous and over-board with his anger RE the work situation. It may or may not have anything to do with saving ow yucky ass. So many times MLCers have out-of-proportion anger about the seemingly strangest things. I guess you could be thankful that it is not directed at you. But as you have already seen, that anger can turn very quickly toward you.
You obviously can not get through to him by being reasonable. I think your best bet is to let it ride. Listen, no reason to validate his position, only his feelings. "I can see that you are angry about this" ,etc.
Hopefully he will come to the realization on his own that he is over the top on this one.
