At this point every thing just seems lost and hopeless to me. I hope part of it is because I feel so lousy, but I dont know. H is a raging bear again, so po'd about work, lawyers, everything. Evidently there is a big meeting for the clincians to go to the board because the management/employee committee supervision survey didnt go the way the want. I was dumb enough to express to H last night that I think they have unrealistic expectations of the process, and that some of those expectations are unjustified. My guess is that the percentage of employees surveyed who said they have problems with inadequate supervision about matches the number of employees on corrective action plans, that this is H's last-ditch no-holds barred attempt to manipulate his co-workers into coming up with something that's going to pull ow's fat out of the fire. Of course I guess he wouldnt be so furious if it was working.

Anyway, I told him that I thought it wasnt entirely realistic to look at it that way, whoa, was that bad dbing...he went off like a rocket, that I wasnt "one of them", that I was being non-supportive....on and on and on....I backed off....although I did say "I'm not non-supportive, I just don't have someone poking me with a sharp stick every day so I'm not as emotionally involved" more bad dbing....he went nuts again, wanted to know who was poking him, I just raised my eyebrows and didnt say a word, walked away. At one point I said, "I don't suppose this is the time to say ILY" and he got really pissed and said no, he didnt want to hear it when I was so none-supportive, he didnt believe it.....so, I just let him go, went dark, actually went to bed at 8 pm, which was because I am really ILL....H came up about 8:30, asked if I was going to bed, duh, and seemed to have some concern.

This morning I was talking about some of my own questions about ethics in the legal profession, and H got all riled up again, I don't even remember what it was about....except h was on the exact opposite side of the fence from where he was 2 weeks ago. Then it dawned on me that maybe the attorney H sent ow to has told her she's full of hot air , and that's why H is so volatile, plus if this inner-working manipulative deal is working as he promised ow it would work, looks like he's got a lot of face to lose. I just hope and pray he doesnt get his butt fired in the process. he is so volatile right now, it's just irrational.

I did put my little stuffed devil on the dash board of my chevy mini-van; kind of an oxymoron, huh???? but I couldnt resist.

If any one has any advice or insight, I could sure use it right now. No email from H this am, and I havent sent him any....I leaving for a dr's appt and going home sick, so I guess he'll have the day in peace next to ow. hmmmm another observation, his agitation has picked up since he's back in the office next to her. That's what I feared would happen.

been around awhile!