hi Sage! I gotta say one thing in my defense: I'm not wandering around the parking lot looking for beanies, ow is parked so that I cant get into my car without seeing it! LOL, I just had to mention that...how ever, I have to admit, it worked, she got me to notice!!! the thought occurs to me that if I notice that, she must REALLY notice things as well, and maybe this is her last-ditch desperate attempt to bait me into doing something stupid....i was thinking how not unlike a little kid throwing a temper tantrum it is, how it builds to a peak before it dies away.
well, I'm not going to do anything rash or stupid other than sound like a raving idiot here on the bb.

On to more important topics, H really is more "snippish" these days, this weekend in particular. a few weeks ago, when I'd offer to do something for him, he'd say "I can get it/do it myself" It's a challenge to figure out what is best with him from one moment to the next.
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Do you think he feels forgiven for his foibles? Sometimes people withhold forgiveness if they themselves don't feel forgiven.



This is a good/big question Sage, and the answer is I'm not completely sure. I know he blows up and says he'll have to live with "this being thrown in my face for the rest of my life" usually if I say anything about ow/A. That's another of many reasons why it's so important for me to avoid bringing it up....he sees me mentioning it as "proof" that I've not forgiven him.

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Another thing...do you think he feels as though you are sorry? Can be another block, too.



I'm not sure about that one either. I have apologized many times to him verbally, and have tried to show with my actions that I am, but I don't know if he really believes it. my guess is sometimes he does and sometimes he doesnt.
I don't know what else I can do other than patiently keeping on doing what I can to DEMONSTRATE that I'm sorry his needs werent met and it wont happen again. I hesitate to "talk" about it too much, for fear he'll see it as "blowing smoke"....

It just occurred to me that inspite of his grumbling about I should have been more interested in sex when he was "in his prime"....when he's up for it now, he's up for it very enthusiastically....I used to initiate, initiate, initiate, then he complained about me making him feel pressured, so I backed WAY off in that dept., and generally follow his lead. He seems HAPPY with the way things go...I don't know, maybe it's a control issue for him, somehow meets his LL need for PT, not sure, but I'm thinking that at some level he must feel that I'm sincere about wanting things to be different for us or he wouldnt be so enthusiastic. Does that make any sense?

been around awhile!