I have been so sick with this junk, I am hardly functioning. I finally feel a little better today, so hopefully the worm will be turning on that front.
I'm still struggling to keep my hands off the rope. It is not much easier, at all. i have mangaged to not say one single word about ow or a for 5 weeks now.
H has had this stuff, and is not 100% recovered either, although he's doing better ( S has had it also). It was really a pretty uneventful weekend in most ways. H initiated ml Thursday nite and Sunday afternoon, so I guess that's not bad. He makes references that I "should have been so interested when he was at his prime"?????what ever that means, all I can figure out is it's MLC talk, and that he still has some resentment towards me over what he sees as my lack of interest. DO THEY EVER GET OVER THIS????????? plus it's confusing because other times he complains that I pressure him too much. He was quite eager this weekend though, so it wasnt a 1-sided pressuring by me type thing. Saturday evening I was working in the kitchen and H had the TV going. H came in and said "when you pull those out I'd take a sandwich made from them" (referring to some ribs I had in the oven)....I said "well, you...." in a tone of voice that I thought was jokingly implying he was expecting a lot. H didnt take it as joking...he got "snippy" and offended and said "well if it's too much trouble just don't bother"...I went to him, didnt apologize or anything, but took his hands in mine, and said "it's not too much trouble, but it will cost you a smooch, and I gotta take advantage of any opportunity I get to collect them". I smooched him, he looked confused and said "oh, ok" and smooched back. Sheesh, he's sensitive these days. I wondered if it has to do with him "giving her up" and being afraid I'll "go back"? that's all I can figure out.
Later that evening, he said "are you going to join us" meaning by the fire place where he and S were watching tv. so I did, and made sure to comment on what a nice fire it was and how much I appreciated him making it.
H did his ususual "going to work" on Saturday morning, and was home when S and I got there. seemed a little irritated that we hadnt been home when he got there.
Today, b---h ow is parked in the same lot as h and I, she is on the same side of the aisle as he is, one car between, and I'm on the other side directly behind her. this has to be a Mind Game type of thing, as there were scads of parking places in the lot where she ususally parks. I gotta get up my nerve and figure out some mind games to launch on her. maybe just not throwing H out is enough of one.
I get discouraged, I want that woman GONE, GONE GONE. I dont' want him calling her (I'm sure he still does) or seeing her or thinking about her. For God's Sake I want her to quit convincing him that he needs to go do stuff for her poor helpless butt.
Oh, I saw her getting out of her vehicle this morning, excellent timing, she pulled in just behind me, and she has dyed her hair progressively darker...it's almost as dark as mine now. I wonder what gives?????? Trying to impress H since he's said he thinks it looks weird if you have naturally dark hair and dye it light?
I don't know, anybody have any observations to share here? I'm just trying to keep on with GAL, have been so sick I havent worked out in 2 weeks, so gotta get back with that big time, gonna follow the diet plan more closely, redoing our Bedroom (paint, curtains, furniture rearranging, decluttering, making it more "romantic", kind of a "grown-up getaway) starting to see some results there, and redoing the basement. Everything seems to take for ever, but these are big projects, and of course H doesnt lift a finger with them for the most part, other than taking out trash, etc, IF I ask him to. ..........
