Quote: I think Jenny's point is that increased affection doesn't necessarily "soften" up a guy towards lovemaking in the same way that it might for an LDW.
In my experience, increased expressions of affection in a broken relationship are mostly annoying and treated with suspicion and avoidance behaviors.
From reading here, many of the HDHs have attempted expressions of affection toward their LDWs only to see it hit an impenetrable wall. So, I don't know what, if any difference there might be between genders and how they receive/perceive affection.
(With spring springing and my garden thumb itching), I see affection as a relationship fertilizer. Throwing it on a weedy bed isn't going to get you a bed of flowers. And if there is one lonely flower in there strugging, the weeds will overwhelm it. Relationships, like the flower bed, have to be rid of a portion of the weeds, or at least have some sort of anti-weed program going on before there will be much benefit to the flower from the fertilizer.
Affection, in marriages that have more pluses than minuses, is just the outward expression of the care, respect, *enjoyment* that you have inside for your spouse.
Does that mean that being the recepient of affection will make your spouse horny? No. What it does is cause your spouse's heart to be turned toward you in a positive way.
