GEL... My friend just told me about a situation that reminded me of you. She's a happily married woman ( 20+yrs), attractive but does not give off any sexual vibes and lives the typical suburban life, whatever that means--no drugs, alcohol, good mom, etc. Anyway, she is an interior designer and recently her neighbors who are moving asked for her input informally( the new home is close by). The husband ( alone) comes to pick her up...she truly did not think anything about this, after all they had been friendly neighbors all this while, but when they got to the new house he propositioned her ( he was very polite about it...asked her if she would be interested in an affair). She was shaking afterwards, told me and a few friends about it, but hasn't said anything to her husband. She wants to wait until they officially move, and also she is worried that her husband would think she did something to provoke this interaction.
The thing is, her husband is a very passive man; she is the social, active one. They get along like an old married couple, take each other for granted, and I imagine the spark of sex isn't there. I couldn't help but notice that when she told me the story she did feel flattered on some level. I encouraged her to tell her husband after the move because I feel it would have similar benefits to their marriage, the increased intimacy and a wake-up call. I'm learning, too, that no one should become complacent about their spouse. My H and I have tested each other's endurance...not a smart thing to do.
Congrats on your H coming forward for you...it's a wonderful feeling and well deserved!
