I see what you are saying. But one thing I think I want to throw in is this....this "affectionate" approach does definitely work with MY LDH...but that's what HE needs...that's not to say it would work for EVERY LDH by any means. I think something important to keep in mind is that every person will have different things that will trip their trigger! It's finding out what that "thing" is that's the really difficult part of this process.
In our session yesterday my H said that one of the things that he found so attractive in me and fell in love with was....the fact that I was so affectionate towards him. I had unintentionally stopped being that way, because he had shut me out...so I shut down.
This whole process is a very personal, individual process. That's one reason I get sooo very frustrated when people try to generalize or group LD/HD people into a neat tidy package....it simply doesn't work that way. We're human...therefore sometimes quite complicated, especially when one gender is trying to understand the mental workings of the opposite gender....LOL
