Just thought I'd try to keep a positive spin going for some of those out there who need the encouragement
Things are still going pretty well in the Mr & Mrs Lassie household. Nope, not boinking like bunnies on a regular basis yet...but I feel that time growing nearer and nearer.
Sunday evening, I had a bit of a confusing time. I've been trying to sit back and give him the opportunity to come to me first for awhile now. Yes, I've tried this approach in the past and it didn't work...but time has gone by, improvements in our R have been made, so I thought perhaps when I did that before it wasn't the right time....so try, try, try again
Anyway....Sunday evening we were watching tv in bed and my H was being affectionate (in his own way). I tried not to push and nothing really sexual ended up happening, but I did get a very nice backrub which in the past my H just simply would not have done on his own, without my prompting. This time he even put some effort into it for me, rather than giving me the half-hearted, one-handed, barely touching me type of a backrub.
Yesterday while we were chatting about everyday stuff he interuppted me and said "by the way I just wanted to let you know I was really horney last night, I wanted to have sex....but my head was just killing me!"
Now to some of you that may sound like a cop-out for sex...and if he had told me that the night before I probably would have thought the same thing. HOWEVER! Both of us really do suffer from allergies and he had been suffering quite a bit lately (me too w/his snoring)....so I truly could buy that he had a bad headache.
The big thing for him is that, this is now the 1st time he's told me something like this (yes we've been having lots of 1sts lately), he actually shared it with me. In the past he would have kept that info to himself, and I would have been left feeling out in the cold, frustrated and angry that my H doesn't find me appealing (when he does, I just don't know it.) So for him this is a major step, and for me too.
I told him that I really appreciated him telling me because just knowing that information made me feel good. But I also told him, "well I was wondering if you were horney, but I really couldn't tell by what you were doing....so part of me wanted to push things, but the other part of me thought...no, don't push. I couldn't really tell if you were trying to initiate something or just being affectionate." This time the response I received was "no, I was just being affectionate, I promise you won't have to guess when I am initiating." That got a big grin from me
He's now sitting by me more to snuggle on the couch watching tv....I make more of an effort to snuggle with him in bed because he likes that. I still am not able to snuggle when sleeping, I just get too warm....so I make sure to be more concious of snuggling when we're just doing something like watching tv.
I started thinking about MY own behavior when it came to "snuggling" and realized....because I wasn't getting what I needed from him physically...I may have unintentionally been witholding a physical need of his too. Of course I wasn't witholding sex, but I was withholding a physical contact he does need/enjoy.
I usually think I'm a pretty together, intelligent lady...and most of the time I am. It just amazes me how I completely missed this behavior on my part. I truly thought I was doing everything I possibly could to meet his needs....but yet, I COMPLETELY missed this very important one! DOH!
Anyway...things are still going well....still improving....still moving forward.
