Something I was thinking about on my way in to work this morning, but I forgot to mention yesterday is this....
A few months back I realized that while I was trying to get my H to understand "what" I was feeling, so he could see where I was coming from and understand my pain better...I also realized that what I was really doing was trying to get HIM to feel what I was feeling. That simply was never going to happen...we come from different poles on this issue, he couldn't "feel" what I was feeling. Because even if he had gone through similar circumstances as what I found myself in...there was no way I could really know he'd feel the same way about it that I do. I guess you could say I realized I was putting myself through hell for no reason. This excercise in futility did nothing to help my patience/empathy levels whatsoever, in fact I believe my resentment level rose during that time.
So...how do you get out of that cycle? You have to accept that you are dealing with someone who has their own feelings/ways of thinking/and perspectives...just because you think/feel in a specific way...doesn't mean they would react the same way in the same circumstances.
If you find yourself in this cycle you have to break out of it if you can. How do you do that? I think that may be different for each of us...for me I literally had to remind myself.."he isn't me!"
That was a bit of a ramble...but I had these thoughts bouncing around in my head this morning...and just had to get them out.
