Just thought I'd post an update on the stich between my LDH and I. All in all I think things are going very well....so much better than I thought they would be merely twelve months ago.
There is a definite feeling of love in our home now, which has been so utterly absent for so long. Not because we didn't love each other...but because we didn't know how to show it to each other.
I can simply FEEEEEL that we are on the verge of breaking through our sexual barrier. I have NEVER seen my H behave the way he is now...he's happy! He's relaxed! I catch him just looking at me and our son together, or just me by myself in a very loving way. He jokes with me now, he talks with me about our R, tells me what type of clothing he finds sexy on me, and is now beginning to bring up sexual topics on his own. We discuss things brought up on this BB and he openly gives me his opinions on them. I have invited him to join the BB, but he prefers to leave "posting" to me...but he is very supportive of my participation and feels it has actually been beneficial for both of us because I have been able to gain a greater understanding of what he's going through.
I also now know that one of his hang-ups is that he is very self-concious about how long he lasts when we do ML. It obviously bothers him because he brings things up like "now if only it wasn't over so fast!" as if he expects for me to agree with him. So this past Saturday morning when he brought that up I just looked up at him and said "have I ever complained to you about how long you last" to which he said "ummm, well no but..." I said but nothing...I've never complained about that because for me it's not how long it lasts....it's the quality of the time together. If you are worried that I need actual intercourse to have an orgasm then don't, there are MANY other things we can do which are just fine by me " I think this time he actually believed me too...which he should, I was shooting straight with him.
I've kind of held off posting about how things are going around our house because I guess I was waiting for the other shoe to drop...for things to revert back, for me to feel that pain of disappointment yet again. But so far that doesn't seem to be happening. I know it could again in the future, but now I feel better equipped to handle it if it does.
My H isnow a happy man when he's home and I'm happy to be home with him. He's beginning to call or e-mail just to say he loves me....which makes me feel WONDERFUL...and I let him know that and try to do things that I know make him feel loved/cared for too.
It's now beginning to feel they way I knew it could between us. The physical part will just be the icing on the cake....and that I KNOW is merely a matter of time now.
But you know what has gotten us to that point? Love, Communication...and persistence!
" I think this time he actually believed me too...which he should, I was shooting straight with him.
