To be honest this time last year I really thought I'd be headed towards divorce court this time this year. I'm soooo glad to find that's not the case
This time last year I was full of anger/resentment/and hurt pride...one foot was out the door already and I felt myself shutting down towards my H emotionally...I was building a wall that he wasn't going to be able to break down...for me, once that last brick is in place....I'm done! I felt just as I did right before I left my ex...and I hated that.
True, we still aren't boinkin like bunnies at this point. But we have definitely begun to grow closer. And now that we have found our new counselor (who we both really like) things are really looking up for us.
It was so encouraging to me when my H came to me and told me how much he preferred our new counselor over his last one...the one he'd been going to for 7-8 months. My H told me that his previous therapist had been concentrating mainly on bio-feedback and not talking. Well no friggin wonder things aren't changing much.
He told me he felt more like a guinea pig than anything else and that he didn't really quite agree with some of the stuff they'd been doing, but that he kept going along with it thinking that at some point it would all make sense. Which it wasn't. So that explains why we've been for all intense and purposes spinning our wheeles....DOH!
This lets me know that the improvements we have made so far, and there have been some, have been due to OUR efforts in communication (which is an area we still REALLY need to work on.) But that's just proof to me that COMMUNICATION REALLY IS THE KEY.
Of course I have to wonder if we had been going to our new therapist all along where would we be today....but you know what? I'm not going to dwell on that. We have now found someone we both really like...time to start fresh with her.
I can't wait to see where we are at a year from now!
