Like others on this BB I struggle with accepting that my H had an A and trying to move on from there. It is painful for me because this was with a woman who worked for us for 6mths.
Usually I am good at focusing on the positives-what you focus on expands, but today was not a good Db day. I was tired and felt i didn't have anything to give. I notice that when things have gone well for a while i get the urge to get angry and fight with H.
I realise its that I resent that he may think its so easy to move on from all the hurt and the lies and in a way i want reassurance that he wants the M and loves me.
I am working on forgiveness because I think he is deeply sorry for what he did. He just can't face himself or me with the truth. He has said to me that he is sorry he hurt me and that 'it' will never happen again. All without admitting to an A at all!
I struggle with giving up my idea that this M was a 'fairy tale' and dealing with the reality of a battered R that I still want.
