Okay posting on my own thread. When I started reading DR i went back to my computer diary for 2003 cuz this is when i think a started. It was very difficult reading. We were fighting and quarreling all the time. It is when our M started to deteriorate. I had to acknowledge that H must have been very unhappy. This does not excuse him for the a but i understood how he thought this was a solution.
This tog with DR helped me see where i need to change. I stopped nagging, have been positive and upbeat around H and doing lots of little things for him. The change in him was amazing. HE went from going hunting with buds practically every night to beign at home with me. Lots of love and attention.
I had gone on weekend trip to NY and he noticed change when I came home. He still doesn't know what it is. But he did upset me with a R talk. He started it. He said he did not know if i was trying to impress him and that if i was doing this to impress him or for show it would not last and if he did some thing to anger me what would happen.
I think he was feeling quite guilty about ow thing and maybe now no excuse for his behaviour. I felt hurt that this was his response to my efforts and told him so. But did say this was the new me enjoy.
Problem is, my H is a guy who would like to sweep whole a and troubles under carpet. He thinks everything is fine and even suggested we did not need to keep seeing MC.
But flip side he is very responsive to changes and loving. Says he loves me from bottom of his heart etc.this from man who couldn't stand sight of me a month and a half ago! But am scared i can't keep it going. Feel also he is in some sort of MLC he is 46, I am 40. Don't know what to do to keep changes going. Know i need to kick it up a notch.
