I would be classed has the hdw, for the last 4 years we have had 'sex' issues, I have tried every thing, from nagging, to leaving it alone, nice underwear, meals, praise the lot. He hates the 'sex' subject. 4 years ago his excuse for the lack of lm was that he hated condoms and was afraid i would get pregnant...so I went onto the injections...then the reason went to something else....then something else, and now for the last 18 months its the 3 b's....back, bowls and balls . He now says that he can only ml when he feels alright, but when he feels alright he says that we are usually at logger heads. so during 2004 we ml 3x's and because this problem has led to me have even worse body image issues, them 3 times were me trying to stay covered, and checking that nothing was hurting...this also means its one posistion only me on top. The last time we ml was beginging of last September. On bad days I am convined hes seeing someone, or (he has a history) is using porn again. On good days I dont care. So last week I decided that I should no longer let him have control over my feelings and basically he doesnt want sex because he says its uncomfortable ( I have spoken bluntly to him about non penatration fooling around), so I should understand that and leave him alone. After all mastabation never says no and I have a good imagination, so i should just 'sort myself out' and leave him to it. ( in Jan I stopped ironing to prove a point, my back hurts during ironing and i have to do that around2x's aweek, and I was only asking to ml once a month. So this week i have ironed all his shirts, he has made no comment). So I suppose I am trying to do a 180, and felt really good about it for the first couple of days, today I feel sad again as usual I am just glad hes actually out and I could just scream shout and cry, I know a lot of other hd feel ugly, fat and undesired but does it just become very overwhelming at times. I know at times I just want to walk out and never turn back, I am hoping to conquere this 180.
. He now says that he can only ml when he feels alright, but when he feels alright he says that we are usually at logger heads. so during 2004 we ml 3x's and because this problem has led to me have even worse body image issues, them 3 times were me trying to stay covered, and checking that nothing was hurting...this also means its one posistion only me on top. The last time we ml was beginging of last September. On bad days I am convined hes seeing someone, or (he has a history) is using porn again. On good days I dont care.
