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Joined: Jul 2004
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Quote:

What I'm not so sure about is how to deal with these types of people. Expose them with irrefutable proof that they do indeed have weaknesses? Play the game with them that they are flawless? What?





Let me know if you figure it out...please??!!! So far, what I've found is that giving them proof of their weaknesses only gets a response of what a horrible person I am for telling them how bad they are...you can try to play the game that they're flawless, but it means giving up you're own identity.

I think the best thing to do is let them live in their own disillusioned world, go about living in your own, and maybe they might get interested enough to have a look at what you're doing. Most likely though, they'll just go on being strong.

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Hairdog wrote
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How do I feel about this? Relieved, but frustrated, and stressed all the same.


Like you and others who posted, I had the experience of the C validating me in a one-on-one and saying that she frankly didn't think my bf would be capable of making the changes necessary to turn him into a man capable of kindness and intimacy in under a few YEARS of constant work on his part. She validated that when I feel crazy, he is doing crazy-making behavior and I am having an appropriate reaction. At one point she said to him, "You're so convinced Lil is going to leave you that you're driving her away."

We're also not seeing her or anyone at the moment.

HD, it's as if you've been slogging toward a mountain in the fog, and now the fog has cleared and you're getting a look at how BIG that mountain really is...

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