Had the one on one with the MC yesterday. She basically supported the following statements: 1. W points the blame at me for the problems in our marriage because she is unwilling to admit to herself that she is failing in her obligations to the relationship. 2. W is incredibly intelligent, but lacks insight. 3. I have to stop catering to her, start being assertive, start regaining my personal integrity. 4. W is unwilling to compromise, but moreso, is unwilling to admit that she is unwilling to compromise. 5. W needs to stop treating me like crap.
This is all stuff I suspected, thought about, but wasn't sure if I was right about (despite the opinions and advice on the BB and some other friends telling me I was right), until the MC validated it. The SSM Board people and my friends know me, but none of you had heard W's side, or met her. The MC has, and her validation, for that reason, means SO much.
She didn't think the marriage was doomed, but thinks that about all I can do at this point (besides working on my assertiveness issues) is be a "persistent wind" blowing at W, blowing toward change. That's where my superpower of explosive flatulence should come in handy.
How do I feel about this? Relieved, but frustrated, and stressed all the same. A lot of work to do. But it's nice to know I won't have to deal with it all by myself.
