Hairy, My H does this also! When he screws up (and he does, he aint perfect, despite what he would like to believe, lol) he spends all of his time ruminating on what a screwup he is and immediately jumps into suckup mode. But he forgets to SAY out loud, I am sorry. This is big for me.
As Catholics, we believe in the sacrament of reconciliation--confession. A lot of people wonder why we do this and can't you just say 'sorry' to God all by yourself? Of course you can. But having to go to someone and say the words out loud ..well, I just can't say what an impact that has on you! It's pretty amazing to sit there and hear your voice saying this stuff out loud to another person and then let's say you go a few weeks later and say the same damn things..well, the effect is that you start to NOT want to have to do that again.
I'm not sure that it would be the same if you were just silently apologizing to God, since we all have a tendency to forgive ourselves MUCH easier and quicker than others do, right!
Saying the words out loud is very powerful, both to the listener and the apologizer.
Food for thought.
Of course, your wife and I both share a punitive nature, so that could play into it, as well.
Take care and WB's suggestion was excellent. Short and to the point. No excess verbiage.
