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This seems to be a personality characteristic, ie. some people only want/desire what they can't have. I was wondering the exact same things as you expressed, and I also worry about the dynamics of this in the long run



The simple explanation for this would be low self-esteem along the lines of "I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member.".

I don't know why exactly but reading this thread is actually making me less hopeful about my sich. I think this is because the experiences of KEBall and Mr.Fixit make me think that there is nothing I can do to improve the situation besides threaten to leave-again. I've already done the other things they've suggested. I've performed every fantasy my H has shared (except the 2 girls one ) and I've communicated the seriousness of the situation in every way possible short of having "F*ck your wife instead." tatooed on my H's right hand. We were "separated" over this issue for 4 hours last summer and at that time my H vowed to do everything he could if we gave it another chance but as soon as the going got tough this fall when we had some financial problems, my sexual needs dropped right back down to the bottom of the priority list. So now he is getting his second (and last) chance at gaining my trust by showing up twice a week as he agreed. Somedays I think the only reason I keep trying is I don't have quite enough money to leave him until I get my business inventory up a bit more.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver