Maybe I could offer some advice. Which to do so is going to really make me think deep and hard.LOL In reading what you two posted about your wife I feel like I am in the exact same frame of mind that they are in right now. I have the high libido. My husband has the low. I will just say this to refresh my situation a little. For many years I have known he has masturbated. He probbaly has done this more then we have made love in our whole marriage.
As for the gay part and me thinking it. I don't know maybe some part of me wants to say it to hurt him. Or to help this pain I have constantly felt that it was me. I don't think in me saying it I completely put it off my shoulders. Like I won't have to worry about my flaws because it just must be he is gay. For so many years I have beat myself up. I tried to be skinnier, dress sexier, change my hair, change my make-up. None of it ever worked but I still beat myself up daily. My own ego has suffered terribly through this. But a big part of my gay statement was that I have thought maybe it really could be a possibility. For several reasons.... Reason 1....Everywhere I turn TV, articles in magazines, internet, etc, it always says how guys are the horn dogs. It is typical for women to withhold sex. Okay every guy I personally know all of which are married are this way. They complain they don't get it enough from their wives. Or they will complain their wives won't do certain things. Okay so back to reason 1. LOL...My husband has this wife who LOVES to give oral sex. With no strings attached either. He NEVER asks for it. Okay to be really open here on this forum, LOL I recently have found because I got to do it once on him that I like to swallow. I would like to perfect this and do it more. My husband knows this and does he ask? Nope! Never! He will masturbate in the short time I run the kiddos to school when he knows I will be right back. So he has this wife that would love to take care of his needs but he choses this....so the thought..could he be gay came to mind. Reason 2......If I never complained about sex I strongly feel we would never have it. He never initiates it. Only and I repeat the ONLY time he will initiate is if I am really pissed and at the point of leaving and he knows it. When I get to this point he will take special consideration to initiate sex only on the weekends for the next couple of weeks. Then it always goes back to the same. So men are the aggressors and always want it. I have a husband who seems he could care less..so the thought came to mind could he be gay. Reason 3....he has this wife that would love to fulfill his fantasies. Who is a healthy sexual woman. Cares about his needs and is kinky and loves everything about sex. Guys would love to have a wife like this. Not him. So the thought came to mind could he be gay. See for years I have beat myself up and tried so darn hard. My ego literally at one point shattered. I have tried every possible thing I could have thought of. I have tried to be the perfect little wife for him. Cook for him, clean the house spotless daily, only ask him to do minimal things around here. I run all the errands, pay all the bills, etc. In order to take the maximum amount of stress I could off him. Hoping that would improve his drive. No I am to the point where I have given up. Ya know we actually had sex last weekend after 5 weeks with none. I can already see he hasn't changed. It was to get me off his back. He hasn't been sexual since. See I can predict and we become very wary of the attempts. Because we fear it going right back to the same way. We have left the marriage kind of you can say. So when your heart is not vested in it you can't get hurt again right? I know probably without a doubnt he will try to initiate sex again one day out of this weekend. Then one day the next and then it will be back to the same. So I am beating myself up for having sex with him last weekend because now he thinks all is okay and it is not. I don't know if the two fo you have said this...but for me a I am sorry would do wonders I think. Just for him to acknowledge he knows he has hurt me. The words sorry would show me that he knows he has made a mistake and is ready to work on things. If he grabbed me and told me he wanted me so badly right at that moment may do wonders also. If he went out and bought me lingerie and told me was thinking about me all day and saw this and couldn't wait to see me in it would do wonders. If he did anything that was out of the ordinary other then the same old things he has been doing. Because we become wary of those attempts that we have seen before. Sorry if this is jumbled. LOL My mind is wandering in every direction today. See I know I am very negative right now. I am angry and bitter. I am trying to break through it and I think this board will be helpful. Right now I am torn. Because a part of me loves him so much. But another part has had enough. That part just wants to give up and go and find someone else that would be much better suited for me. I haven't acted on it but have this guy that is so interested in me. He is good looking and has so much sex appeal. I can just see it in his eyes when he looks at me. He has been open about how his marriage ended. I met him at work about a year ago. We became friends and would talk whenever we were at a job. We talked on the phone several times. He was a shoulder to lean on for me and I was one for him. He thinks it is so bizarre how my husband could not want sex being man. See it is things like this that hurt so much. He tells me I am beautiful and sexy and to not let this destroy me. He says don't keep going on being unhappy. I am really at a point where I might just do that. It seems so much easier then to invest anymore time in this. Because this is painful.
