Julie-- Thank you for your post. The phases your husband describes are exactly how I feel. The same goes for my W not meeting my needs. I also felt like that I was giving more to the R than I was getting. Like I said before, it all becomes a vicious cycle. And the longer it persists, the harder and thicker the shell around the love becomes. Sooner or later, we can't see or feel the love anymore, just the shell of what used to be.
I have tried so hard to explain to my wife that deep inside at the very core of that shell...there is still an all-encompassing love and desire for her. But, because of where she is mentally, these are only words for her.
Let me say again, my W is a WONDERFUL woman and mother, who is just wounded to the core. I know I'm responsible for much of that but I also know, thanks to her, that I'm not the ONLY cause. She steps up to take blame where it is due. Because of this, I am so frustrated. We have all the makings of a couple who can salvage our M. But, she's not willing...at least not right now.
I am just going to keep listening to you guys and WORKING on making her feel important to me. And, I'm going to keep working on me to make ME feel important to me...without needing her validation.
