KEB, I know you were prolly joking, but I wanted to suggest that you (when the time is right) try and find out what her preferred frequency is. My H used to say (shout) that he wasn't capable of every day sex. This has not changed..he still maintains that he is not, although when conditions are right there are times when we have sex every day for weeks on end. But as a general rule we do not ML every day. He has said that his preferred frequency is every 3 days, or roughly twice per week. My frequency is at least every other day. We have agreed to sex twice weekly and, KEB, perk up your ears here fella...my H has not let me down with this pledge. Not a new job or a new baby or a new mortgage..nothing.
He made a promise to me and he stuck with it, NO MATTER WHAT. At this point, I could probably take a broken promise but this is two years after the fact. It has seriously taken me that long to be able to trust his word and feel comfortable with a broken promise. A broken promise being "We will ML tonight" and then him either ignoring me and expecting that I will take the hint (which I detest and he no longer does) or outright saying, Can we postpone it til tomorrow.
I think he has finally realized that I have a very limited idea of what constitutes a legitimate reason for not having sex. Fever, yes. Sick crying child, yes. Stressful day, no. Tired, definitely not. You get the idea. Not that he has no say in this whole thing, not at all. (though I'm aware that's how it looks on paper) Just that he has to take this seriously and he has to reserve his "opting out" for when it is absolutely necessary.
And I make sure to meet his needs in a similar way. For instance, when he walks through the door at night, he wants the house spotless. We have 3 small children, so this is a joke! Every day about a half hour before he arrives home, I run thru the house and pick up all the toys and kid paraphernalia, do the lunch dishes, run the dustbuster, etc, and make it look as if we do not have kids, lol. Personally I think it's ridiculous as it is all trashed within an hour after he gets home, but HE likes it. HE has requested that I do this, so I do.
It is a bit premature in your game to start making requests of your wife, but I would urge you to think about the ways in which you would feel more positive about the R (and therefore more willing to give to her, physically) and present it when the time is right...after you have both re-committed yourselves to the marriage and are ready to make changes.
It took me a long time to learn what he wanted and needed of me and an even longer time to agree to do it, lol, but now that I do we are both happier.
Ok, I'm off on a tangent again. What the heck were we talkin about anyway?!
Good luck to you, friend.
Tonight is a new night. Make the most of it with your ACTIONS.
