Add me to the list. I don't find two women together to be particularly appealing, but the thought of two men together is a big turn-off. Not that I am a homophobe or anything - I just don't want the imagery!
KEB, we've gotten off track here. I have been following this thread with much interest. I am a HDW who has been in your wife's shoes. I had myself convinced at one point that my H was gay too...how else could I explain the fact that a man who said he loved me and thought I was sexy had no sexual interest in me? Like Jenny, I realized pretty quickly that this made no sense because he is a T&A man, lol, and his porn does not remotely lean towards anything gay.
At different times, I also had myself convinced that he did not love me, or he did not find me attractive, or he was having an affair, or he was doing this on purpose to control me or hurt me...you get the picture.
In my marriage, two things had to happen for us to start working towards recovery. My H realized that I was desperately unhappy because I told him I was not sure I could stay in this marriage if things didn't change. He told me he would make changes, and he did. But secondly, I realized (thanks in large part to this BB) that I had hardly been perfect. While I may not have actively killed his desire for me, I certainly killed his willingness to work with me on the issue. So I have made changes too.
Right now, the ball is in your court and you have to take the first step. Listen to honeypot, I agree with you that she gives amazing advice.
