I agree with both Honeypot and Lou on something. Your W is very likely to be very hurtful towards you right now.
I haven't behaved downright mean towards my H, sure I've been hurt...but I'm able to have empathy towards him too. I know some of what we're experiencing is due to some past experiences of his...that really helps in our situation.
BUUUUUTT! There have been many, many, many times I could barely look at him because I became so angry. Everytime I'd look at him it would remind me of how much he had hurt and was still hurting me. Can you imagine living with someone who won't even look at you? That must have hurt him too.
Anyway...my point is many of her actions right now are probably in some ways our of self-defense, self-presevation if you will. Is it possible she dwells on the gay issue because it might hurt you?
