I've been following your sitch. I must admit that I am fascinated by your comments on "worshipping" your W and all the while behaving in a way that made her feel ignored. My H said in counseling that he "worships the ground I walk on" but I often feel that he sees me as a mere speck of dust on that ground. I have tried and tried to help him hear what I am asking for. I have tried and tried to show him my love in the ways that he asks. In the end all the "nice" in the world doesn't do the job that naked honesty and changed behaviors will.
I want to add to what Honeypot suggested. When you compliment your W's appearance I would make bold, specific sexual type compliments that are really true. Does she have great hair? gorgeous lips? sexy legs? Whatever. Tell her! It would even be better if you put it in the context of - Gee your legs look great in that skirt. I have always loved your legs. When she begins to show some interest - a hand up the side of her leg makes the point - kwim?
As HP said, projecting.....perhaps. You seem to really be starting to understand why your W was feeling so neglected even as you just about did yourself in "doing" for her. My H does TONS for me and the family (he's quite in touch with his feminine side too) but if he let the laundry slide once in a while and just took me to bed - oh, the relationship mileage........
