KEB, I wanted to tell you that your feelings towards your wife are very similar to how my husband feels about me. The whole "She is a princess and I don't deserve her" thing...
I think this type of thinking can be very damaging to a relationship. It doesn't leave much room for the princess to be herself..it doesn't leave much room for the frog to treat her like an equal--for them to be a TEAM.
My H still maintains that he doesn't "deserve" me. There have even been times when he lamented this idea out LOUD while we were having sex. Talk about a mood killer! I know he means it to be flattering but at this point, I see it as a way for him to 'hide', to not be responsible for growth and self discovery. If he's not worthy of me, then he doesn't even have to try. See what I mean?
For the record, he is quite a catch himself. He is super funny, smart, hard working, people who meet him love him. I have said to him that if something ever happened to me, there'd be women lining up outside our home before my tombstone was laid in the ground and I am NOT kidding. Women are dying to meet a guy like him. I'm sure the same could be said of you. Now, while you are busy shaking your head Noooo, think about this: Why would your wife, the beautiful princess, have married you if you really were a frog?
Have you had a chance to formulate any goals yet? Once I started making goals, I started seeing progress. Prior to that, I was still so stuck in my "I am right, he is wrong" mode to make any headway.
Oh! Did we tell you that?! Your wife is not necessarily all right and you are all wrong. This is one piece of the puzzle.
Were there, or are there, any needs of your own that she is not fulfilling? Have you ever told her about them?
My H wanted me to do acts of service and to take part in his spirituality and to be more demonstrative with hugs and kisses. It has made a big difference in our lives.
