Quote: She has always maintained that she keeps fall-back guys in the back of her mind.
If you read some of my back-posts you will see that I actually created an imaginary lover for myself named Hank in order to get brave enough to deal with directly confronting my H about the situation by putting out marriage on the line. I have to admit that I might easily have had an affair over the years or left my H for another man if I hadn't suffered from low self-esteem because I used to be overweight. I actually did have purely emotional flirtations and there were men I worked with who were sexually interested in me but I would always step back if the flirtation got too intense. However, I would frequently have thoughts like "If H goes one more week without f*cking me that's it. I will overcome my inhibitions and "do it" with my chubby 20 year old assistant." or " That's it. It's been 6 weeks with no sex. Tomorrow I will go on the cabbage soup diet and as soon as I lose 30 lbs. I'm out of here.". I think the main reason I didn't end up divorced years ago is that my H is pretty good at sensing when I'm at the end of my rope and reeling me back in. Things have been improving in our relationship lately mainly because I've been shortening my rope by improving my self-esteem and demanding more respectful treatment and sex.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
