Glad to help you out of your pity party It is all too easy to play the victim isn't it? But, how exactly have you been the victim? Not beating you up here...really just asking. Are you referring to the situation now or in the past?
Ok now on to this
Quote: Honey/GEL--I'm confused about the whole acting on the intimacy thing. Isn't that against the whole DB course of action? Aren't I supposed step back? Of course, it's probably a good idea to take the advice of people who've lived this, huh! For the last two nights, I've slept with my hand on her back. Last night I was tossing and turning because I wanted her SO badly...but I'm afraid that if I tried anything, it would be considered a form of rape.
Here's a thought for when this happens again, that IMO is still a 180. Waker her up, and tell her that you want her so bad you can't sleep.
I swear if my H had done that I would have burst into tears (and I'm not highly emotional). The pain runs so deep that (for me anyway) that type of disclosure would have meant the world to me. I mean it was important enough for you to toss and turn over...did you have an erection? If you did you could let her know that too.
There are more options here than you're realizing, don't let her dictate all of your actions right now because you are afraid to overstep the boundaries....it's those boundaries that you two created to begin with that has your marriage where it is now...someone is going to have to be first to cross over.
As for the EA...no I didn't have one, but I've certainly had opportunities for PA & EA's. The reason "I" haven't gone there is that I would NEVER want someone to do that to me. Has this been brought up in C? Has the Valentine been mentioned? Just curious.
It is all too easy to play the victim isn't it? But, how exactly have you been the victim? Not beating you up here...really just asking. Are you referring to the situation now or in the past?