It has been just about a year since I found the board and SSM and a number of other books and sites. So this is a good time to evaluate progress made.
1. Has your sex life with your partner improved since you started DBing or since you read SSM?
Answer: Yes! Before, we had NUTHIN', and now we're up to at least once a month pretty regularly.
2. How long have you been DBing or employing the techniques in SSM?
Answer: Before I found the board, I had been seeing a marriage therapist for a few months, and things began to improve. SSM was one of the best books I read, because it gave some simple, easy to implement suggestions, and assured me that I was not alone.
3. How long did it take till things improved?
Answer: Sex first occurred about 5 months after reading the book, but improvement in the relationship was ongoing from the start.
4. What was the most effective DBing or SSM technique for you?
Answer: Hmm. I tried to introduce more humor into daily life, and I tried to become less of a harper. I started hugging and kissing her for no apparent reason, and although she still does not spontaneously hug or kiss me, I think she likes when I do it.I listened for clues on how and when she wanted intimacy, and so we usually do it at around 6 in the morning, which is when she seems more eager. Also, I stopped trying to bargain for sex; that doesn't work.
5. Even if it didn't improve your sex life, did DBing or SSM improve your relationship with your partner?
Answer: It did both.
Last week was a good example: One morning I chased the kids out of the bed and went to work on W. She moaned and groaned and complained. She turned away 5 times and I climbed over her and was in her face every time. All of a sudden she has this expression like, Let's get started. I think my W has to say no and put up a fight, and has to see me work for it; I guess I don't mind that much. The magazines seem to have it all wrong with my W. She doesn't want a long session. Once she makes her mind up to do it she wants to get started and get finished. I hardly have time to practice all my moves!
