1. Has your sex life with your partner improved since you started DBing or since you read SSM? Our sex life had already started improving by the time SSM came out, but I had read another of Michele's books and really liked them. In fact, at the time I decided to bring it up with H, I had read about 20 books on the subject including Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, and so I used a combination of these books. The improvement is that we can: talk about sex. Our frequency is up from 1x/6 weeks to about 4x week. We flirt with each other and the rest of our relationship runs smoother, including and especially our roles as parents. 2. How long have you been DBing or employing the techniques in SSM? We first started conversing about this in July 2002. 3. How long did it take till things improved? The frequency improved immediately, as my H agreed to a weekly schedule of 2x per week. The rest of it has improved in fits and starts since then. 4. What was the most effective DBing or SSM technique for you? Acting as if--which I am not good at, but was the most effective tool anyway--and validating him. I was not used to validating and it has had immense benefits in my situation. 5. Even if it didn't improve your sex life, did DBing or SSM improve your relationship with your partner? I am thrilled that I can talk to him about sex, with a great amount of ease now. When I had that first conversation I couldn't even spit the word "sex" out and wondered 'should I say Sex or Making Love or what?'. I ended up bawling my head off and he tentatively said, Is this about sex? and that got the ball rolling.
