Quote: I do, however, flirt with him in email because I am not there to put my own spin on what his reaction (or lack of) was. Also, he can then process the flirt and figure out how to respond. I think with my H that he just needs time to process the flirt and respond in kind. If he doesn't have this 'time', he will sometimes say or do something slightly negative even though he may have secretly enjoyed it.
I think you just hit a couple of nails on the head that make flirting troublesome for us too! (looking for a specific reaction, not the "right" time to respond, etc).
Quote:
I've also found that the more I keep my emotions under control and don't pull back from the nonreactions, the more he pushes himself to give his true reaction.
Yes! I also sometimes see h do a "do over" where he will come back to me after a bit and respond more positively. I guess I can relate to being caught off guard and reacting "stalely" or "negatively" but I always forget that in the heat of the moment (so to speak!).
Now...I don't suppose anyone has any specific recommendations on what to say? (lame, lame, lame!)
sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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