First my H put down the OW at work - called her very self centered, ect - then he stopped talking about her all together and I got the ILYBNILWY speech.
Since we've gotten back together - around nov 2004 - he's mentioned her once to me. She's working somewhere else now but I think she still brings her pets to him (he's a vet). When he did mention her - I withdrew big time. I suppose now he feels he can't talk to me about any female colleague. Which is not good.
I understand completely with your list of how you feel and react when H mentions female friends/colleagues. I feel and react the same way.
But maybe its better that he does mention ff - still its hard to not to think negatively when your trust has been broken. I suppose time and consistant behavior on his part will help with trust issues.
I had no problem - before all this - trusting my H with ANY female. Should you go back to that complete trust again ? Or is that what got us into trouble in the first place ?
I suppose middle ground is the best - not being obsessive about females H associates with - but still let H know that if he starts feeling to close to a female friend - that he can tell us about it without us overreacting - and we can decide the best way to precede from there.
