Sage - I think you already know my take on this. In my opinion, it is simply inappropriate for a spouse to have a friendship with a member of the opposite sex that does not include the other spouse. I've finally figured out, this is that old "near occasion of sin" the nuns were always telling us to avoid.
That doesn't mean I don't think my H should have women friends - he's a very friendly guy, and gets along well with women. But now he is very careful to include me in all his friendships - introduces me (in a loving way that makes it clear I am his adored wife), invites me along, refuses things like solo lunch invitations, etc.
I don't think it is unreasonable, and more importantly, neither does my H. He finally understands the danger inherent in those casual relationships, and goes out of his way to avoid any situation in which that could occur.
So maybe you could just have a discussion with your h, about how you would feel much better about his female friendships if you were included.
