thanks for the visits! Things with mom went very well -- the operation AND the interaction! She did great and we had a fairly lowkey time visiting with one another.
The weekend was pretty good...Friday we went to see a late movie; saturday we went to h's law review banquet. He heard some disquieting news at it (about some conduct of some of the current and future members of the editorial staff) so that kind of rocked the rest of his weekend. He did turn to me for support and listening quite a bit over the weekend so that made me feel very good.
Sunday we had a relaxing day. Went to see "Sideways" for the second time...it was a good antidote to the stress he was feeling. Yesterday, hung with Mom, then relaxed with h.
I'm back at work today which is blah.
Truth be told, I'm feeling really vulnerable and fearful right now. I'm not sure the exact root cause...maybe time spent with mom and dad over the last weeks (that's always good for some soul searching sadness), maybe the stress h is under, maybe work, maybe school, some $$ concerns.....I don't know...I've been finding myself closing up inside and distancing myself from h quite a bit...it happened briefly friday night and then very much again last night...for some reason my "defenses" are on high alert.
Last night I had a whopper of an anxiety dream (or streams of them)...I missed a class at school, had messed something up royally for work, and had decided to leave my h for a guy here at work who had gotten me pregnant...h didn't seem to mind since he had a girlfriend anyway...the only thing that was missing was "losing teeth" and "a sense of falling"
Anyway...just muddling along. I'm lucky that h seems to be able to be present with me even when I don't entirely feel like myself.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
