I believe that attraction of the type your W is describing comes and goes within a long term committed relationship. I have noticed every HD person here mention times when they find themselves not attracted to their spouse. Not being wanted is eventually not attractive to the HD partner. Likewise, being constantly desired is eventually not attractive to the LD partner.
I think sometimes people who have lower desire due to anxiety or poor self image actually begin to disrespect their partner for wanting such a flawed person as they see themselves. Many of the HD spouses here have actually made more headway when they stopped desiring their LD spouse and said so, or moved out, or quit sleeping in the same bed. What is my advice to you? I don't really have any pearls of wisdom because I am still working this out in my own R. Just think about what this dynamic means in your particular situation.
