Since you tend to not show sexual desire, then how do you show your spouse that you love them in a way that is unique and can ONLY be shown to your spouse. Love can be shown in many ways, but how do you show your spouse that they are unique among all of your relationships?
Cemar: I don't I'm catagorized as a LD however, I wouldn't catagorize myself as a HD based on some standards. But your post intrigues me.
Quote: Love can be shown in many ways, but how do you show your spouse that they are unique among all of your relationships?
That's hitting the nail right on the head it's it! It really caused me to sit back and ask myself, okay, how do I show this in my R? Ouch! Its by running my fingers gently through his hair while we talk on the couch. It's when I say "yes but they are no (insert H's name here) when referring to X movie star. It's taking hot choco out on a cold day or cold beer out on a hot one when H is working in the barn. It's a small cop of a feel as I hand him a towel when he gets out of the shower. It's when I cuddle up with him on weekends after the kids after gotten out of our bed and he's still laying there - just cuddling up in his arms. And what about putting lil' notes in his lunch box. My point here I think is that even something non-sexual can show that partner their unique in your eyes. I think I am probably guilty of not doing this enough cause it was very hard coming up with the small list I managed to. Very thought provoking post!
Quote: To all the LD's out there: Since you tend to not show sexual desire, then how do you show your spouse that you love them in a way that is unique and can ONLY be shown to your spouse.
Swap "tend to not show sexual desire" with "tend to not experience sexual desire" in the same way (whether depth or frequency) that higher drive folks do.
Quote:
Love can be shown in many ways, but how do you show your spouse that they are unique among all of your relationships?
I've written here before about our typical day and interactions. In no particular order: Kisses (both pecks and french), hugs, pats, touches, hugs with wrap-around butt rubs, teases, carresses, touching each other's private bits, naked cuddling at night when we sleep, sex every day which can include oral, manual, toys and various positions, daily conversational/physical/facial expressions of being aware of each other as husband and wife.
I read over your list the other day, here are some things that I don't see myself doing:
Make out & dry humping in public - I have no problem with a quick kiss in public. I have no problem with more in the car in an inconspicuous place, but I'm afraid my sense of "things that shouldn't be done in public" would be activated with actions beyond that. I think humping of any sort in the public arena where other people are, whether children, teens, adults or seniors is in bad taste. As is searching for each other's tonsils via tongue probes in front of the general public.
Blow jobs while hurtling down the road engendered an equivalent reaction as running with scissors. I am not making this up, I had visions of blow job in action when a fender-bender accident occurs, airbag employs, wife's neck is immediately broken by the airbag and husband's penis is decapitated by the jaw's death clench.
A lowered sex drive doesn't mean that you can't treat your spouse with physical affection and in sexual ways that make the designation unnecessary.
Quote: I had visions of blow job in action when a fender-bender accident occurs, airbag employs, wife's neck is immediately broken by the airbag and husband's penis is decapitated by the jaw's death clench
Well, thanks a lot, MrsNop. You just ruined that fantasy for me.
Note to all other males on the board: Please don't ask Mrs. Nop to comment on the fantasy involving the edible body paints and the live chicken.
Glad to see you doing all the physical things. Most of the things you talk about ARE unique to a loving couple. I was thinking more along the lines of my own wife who has love langauges other then physical touch (which many LD's have). I was kind of curious as to how LD's in this case can actually show love that is totally unique to their spouse. I know my own wife has NO way to show me love that would be different then what she shows the children for example.
When I said in public, I did not necessarily mean in front of other people. What I meant was doing sexy things OUTSIDE of a darkened bedroom. My wife is REALLY fridgid outside of a dark bedroom.
Quote: Blow jobs while hurtling down the road engendered an equivalent reaction as running with scissors. I am not making this up, I had visions of blow job in action when a fender-bender accident occurs, airbag employs, wife's neck is immediately broken by the airbag and husband's penis is decapitated by the jaw's death clench.
I think something like this did happen in the John Irving novel "The World According to Garp". Great, hilarious read BTW.
I actually had similar kind of scary thoughts about breast-feeding on the highway. On a couple occasions I felt compelled to do this but I didn't want to take the baby out of the car seat so I had to unbuckle myself and lean over the baby. Some truckers got quite an eyeful
Once I started to give my H a handjob while he drove as we were meandering around out in the country on vacation. The next thing I knew we were being tailed by a police car for several miles. I started semi-freaking out that we were going to be busted for some sort of indecency and that might have been embarrassing since we were on vacation with my entire extended family.
I kinda disagree with you about not french-kissing in public to protect the kiddies. I think seeing real life teen-agers or even decrepit old married people making out in the movie theatre is much better for the kiddies than seeing, for example, Teenage Mutant Turtles blowing each other away up on the screen. My HD feminist, super-liberal sister could give a whole lecture on how repressed sexuality causes violent behavior etc.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I didn't mean to imply that my sister (or me) believes that LD leads to violence (she actually believes true LD leads to being good at yoga). What my sister believes is kind of a variation on what MsHD believes. MsHD believes that the evil sex drive of a HDman causes terrible things to happen in the world. My sister believes that a HD man's sex drive is good but repressing it causes terrible things to happen in the world. For instance, MsHD would probably think that a man might kick his dog because of frustration which is caused by his sex drive which he should try to overcome. My sister would think that the man might kick his dog because he is repressing his sex drive which is good and the frustration is coming out as violence which is bad. Therefore, he ought to go out and get laid so he won't hurt the innocent animal. IMO the actual problem is that the man has some fear which is causing him to repress his sex drive which is causing frustration which is expressed in a violent manner. Thus fear=violence which makes sense any way you look at it as a general equation.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
OK, call me an old fuddy-duddy, but I think that ANY sex that involves the driver of a moving vehicle is dangerous and stupid. Maybe a little stroking, but nothing beyond that. It may be a great fantasy, but it's best left as just that: a fantasy.
