ChaChaCha - Yeessssss, that is exactly what my H does as well, gosh, this makes me feel so much better actually. I think that SM is right in that maybe what we are asking doesn't come naturally for the father and we should direct. I like your approach about offering suggestions for activities, kind of removes the "in the dark" aspect of it. I have tried talking with him about the whole issue and to be honest, he thinks that if he's in the same room with them then that's time - but I know he notices that I interact with them, because he always mentions what a good mom I am (that's very nice to hear BTW). Example, we were at a teachers meeting for preschool for S5, (S5 is a genious of course LOL) he kept giving examples of how I "help/play" with the kids. "Yep, she's down on the floor coloring with them, tea parties, helping them cut picts out of magazines, giving horsie-rides". At one point I looked over and WANTED to say Do you hear yourself, you keep saying "she" don't you wish you could say "me/I". However, I think it just flew over his head. (I would NEVER embarrass him like that BTW) Don't get me wrong. H is a wonderful father. He reads to them at bedtime on weekends and this last Sat he took S5 to get his haircut and then to the zoo afterwards for a couple of hrs - I was sooooo proud of him! It just eirks me that day-to-day he's thinking "hey, I'm at the house, MIL has the kids in the other room and I get to get my stuff done too" - he is killing 2 birds with 1 stone, but, in my opinion, everyday. I just wish things like Saturday were more the "norm" then the exception. I don't know, maybe if he did what I'm asking then I'd be griping that he was trying to take my "mommy job" - ????? Can we ever be happy?

And SM, you come on down/up (?) to OK, weather is great! And we have plenty of room, pond for fishing, GEL might even let ya ride her boys (okay, I was going to just let that one go to work her up, but it's actually her horses)

Here's an idea I am beginning to try for the worry part for H - this a.m. I left him a sweet lil' note (remember I don't physically see him until the weekend) asking him to list 4 things which made him smile yesterday, noting that W & kids didn't count. I said to really think about it, was it a newspaper article, joke at work, etc. Sooooo, we'll see. I tried this once before but the idea never really took, so to speak. But even MIL mentioned last night that she is starting to get annoyed with him.