When WAW dropped off the girls on Thu PM, I asked if they were doing the 10K walk on Sun b/c it was her weekend w/the girls. She said yes they were. Then I asked if she was walking w/them b/c if she wasn't, I would. The walk is a church event and since she walked out she hasn't been coming to church (part of her MLC) and since OM left our church too, I wasn't sure if she was comfortable around some people who may be walking and know. WAW said that she wasn't walking with them. The fact that I asked kind of caught her off guard, I don't think she expected it or thought about it. This was a "soft" 180. On Fri AM WAW called to say that she would walk w/them. So I volunteered to sit at the water table. Oh well.
On Fri PM I watched the movie Bedazzled. At the end of the movie one of the lines in the song stuck in my head. "If you want to change your life, then change your mind." If you think about this for a second, isn't that what we're all doing here? Changing our thinking from "poor poor pitiful me" and languishing in our feelings to "Hey, I'm in control of me and how I act and react affects my life, sitch, R and M."
As a part of what's going on, I've also focused on being the best Dad that I can be. D13 is more open with her voicing her feelings. Her LL is physical touch, she likes to sit next to me on the couch and rest her head on my shoulder, she likes to hold my hand, etc. D15 has told me that talking about your feelings is stupid b/c it won't change the sitch. I found a web site called Letters from Dad. I think that her LL is words of affirmation, so over the weekend, I wrote a letter to her in my own long-hand handwriting. It's been a long time since I written so much in long hand! It was a letter of affirmation. She'll find it when she gets home from school. I want her to know that I love her. I want her to know that it is safe to come to communicate to me about her thoughts and feelings. I won't judge her or criticize her. I'll just listen or read.
