Thanks for checking in and your insights. While reading this post, please don't think that I am yelling at you, I'm just so frustrated b/c it seems that WAW and the law are both stacked against me. If your H said that he wanted to be a famliy, then at least you have that to use as a platform to rebuild your R/M. I don't have that and regardless of what "techniques" I use, I can't change that.
Words like that really put you in a no-win situation.
I can't help but feel like this is a no-win situation.
1. Asking the girls what they want to do either: a. empowers them and gives them some sense of control in their lives or b. puts them in a position of having to choose between us.
2. Telling the girls what to do either: a. releives them of the guilt of having to choose and they just go along to please mom & dad or b. makes them feel like they have no control and we don't care what they want or how they feel
IT IS A NO-WIN SITUATION!
it doesn't have to be as harmful as sources report as long as the parents are willing to work together to co-parent and are successful at not dragging the children into the middle.
Unless one of us abuses alcohol, drugs, the spouse or the children and refuses to reform, then the effects of divorce on the children are life lasting. Remeber MWD's "Hole in the heart story"? Selfishly I ask, just what is my motivation to work together here when WAW won't work on the R/M and threatens me w/family court when I don't agree to a plan that she has already gotten buy-in from the girls w/o consulting me? No, it is not fair that I don't get to see my kids everyother weekend just b/c she walked out. Selfishly I say, the word fair should NEVER be used when talking about this b/c there is NOTHING fair about this, to the girls, to WAW's family, to OM's family, to our friends that know about this and to me.
