Yesterday, I had the thought that perhaps the time has come to send WAW a letter saying that I love her and that I want her to be happy and for that reason, I will be contacting an attorney to proceed in the divorce process. This will take some time for me to work thru. Perhaps I will give her the letter as a "Christmas gift".
This may be a matter of semantics for some, but I am not giving up, I am letting go. Letting go of WAW, letting go of our poisonous relationship, letting go of my dependence on her, letting go of all things that I have tried to control, but can't. I am not letting go of hope for WAW. I still hope that she turns her heart back to God, for it is only thru Him that she will experience not just superficial happiness, but true deep joy. I still hope that she looks inward to see why it is she made the decisions that she did; why it is she couldn't talke to her family about her feeling and problems; why she couldn't become emotionally intimate with me. I still hope that she can have the relationship with D15 & D13 that she never had w/her mom.
