Do I want to know?

[Jabez]

HG:

I've calmed down now. The tone on my prior post was too harsh. I apologize.

that doesn't mean I'm not incredibly sorry for not having whatever it takes to come to be the person I am today WITHOUT causing my H and so many others such pain. But it wasn't until my A that I woke up and saw the light.

I can't imagine a pain or unhappiness inside me so intense that it would cause me to look outside my marriage. I sincerely thank you for sharing. Since you've been there, can you help me to "see the light"? or at least a sliver of light? I'm lost in the dark.

I do still love my W and do still want her to come home. I want to understand. I want to be forgiven and want to forgive.