Do I want to know?

[Jabez]

My short story:
D13/D15
Mini bomb summer 2002: WAW "I'm not happy but I'm not leaving"
Me: work like crazy reading 5LL, His Needs/Her Needs, etc.
Da Bomb: Summer 2004: "Don't love you any more, love my friend"
A starts July 2004, still going and going...
WAW moves out Oct.
D papers arrive Feb.

I've been dark for as long as 2 months. I've been in LRT for 6 months. No effect. WAW: "I am rude to you so that you don't think that I'm coming back".

Your personality is strong, you know what you think is right and wrong.

This is going to sound strong, but I know that adultry is wrong. I just don't think that it is wrong.

If I could suggest anything to help your situation, it would be to soften up a little

I've been understanding. I absorb all the rude barbs and either don't respond or respond in a kind manner. I don't feel "authentic" "enabling" WAW to continue A.

Life keeps rolling

Right now I feel like the only thing rolling is the steam roller over D15/D13 & me.

Sometimes good things can come out of something bad.

It's been 11 months, I'm still waiting something good about our relationship to happen. The best thing to happen so far is my relationship w/D13&D15 is close & strong.

If I could go back in time, would I change what I did?

Speaking for myself, I know exactly what I would change. I would be more empathetic. I would ask more questions and not let the answer "nothing" to my "Are you OK? What's wrong?" question be the end of the conversation.

I'm not perfect. I used to have a hard time talking to anyone about problems. That is what I feel was my major contribution to the sitch. WAW has confirmed this several times since leaving. I'm working on that. I do still love my W. Right now the only love I can exercise is sacrificial love, and I'm doing it. I want to forgive her, but if WAW doesn't want to be forgiven, then I can't. I'm frustrated becuase I'm shut out, not getting a chance to show that I'm not a feeble milktoast whose stunted in his emotional growth.