Do I want to know?

[Jabez]

I had myself convinced she was better than I am and he probably was meant to be with her.

WHAT?!?! How could you convince yourself that someone with no integrity was meant to be w/your spouse? OP's are lacking in morals and integrity. They aren't "meant" to be with anyone.

The only way that I could convince myself that OM is "meant" to be w/WAW instead of me is if I believe that WAW lacks the integrity and character to be w/me. Never have I believed that I was not "good enough" for WAW. I'm not perfect, and as far as I know only 1 guy who walked the earth was, so we all have our warts. You just have to choose which ones you can live with.

By caring about yourself and your R, you've proven that you're "meant" to be with a person who values that.