I know that DB'ing requires patience, but I'm beginning to wonder if the LRT is a "cheeseless tunnel" in my sitch. I've been in the LRT since Feb 1, 2005. WAW is still so uncomfortable around me. I "act as if" and am friendly when she is around. D13 & D15 live at home w/me and we get along swimmingly well. WAW rationalizes & projects her behavior to the point where I feel like "choosing my battles wisely" has become my mantra rather than "work on me". WAW has hard feelings that she has admitted to about how well my relationship w/D's is compared to how "alienated" she feels.
On Fri PM @ D15's concert D13, WAW & I sat together. WAS was cold towards me and spoke very little to me. It's hard to act "as if" when WAW ignores me. Never the less I, acted "as if" as best that I could.
On Sat AM WAW, D13, D15 & I walked around the school art show. Today WAW sent an email saying that she felt D's were put in an uncomfortable position and that they surely noticed WAW's discomfort. While at the art show WAW kept her distance from me. D's bounced back and forth between us.
I need a way to break thru the resistance. I've found a website that made a lot of sense to me. It described a WAS has being deluded breaking it down into 4 steps: rationalization, projection, repression and altered memory. My WAW is definitely into rationalization, projection and has admitted to repressing feelings from the past. I'm wondering if DB'ing w/LRT is the right technique to break thru or if something along the lines of an intervention is required?
Has anyone found this to be true?
I also feel that to set a blanket statement of saying that addressing the affair either with WAW or OM will drive them closer together is like a one size fits all solution. Shouldn't we at least test it before making that statement?
