Need some help here. Been in the LRT for 3 months now and haven't seen any visible improvement. I know patience are a virtue but I haven't been feeling very virtuous this week. I know the usual DB response will be to go do something good for myself
Another "DB response" is to monitor for results, and if results aren't attained try something else. Going dark isn't a magic bullet, and it's by no means a strict rule. You need to modify what you're doing.
I don't really have a handle on your sitch so as to know what's really going on.
I know someone will comment that I am giving too much power to WAW & OM. I know that I should not let them dictate my mood.
That "someone" is you this time around!
All the 180's that I've done, now look at me and seem to laugh because they have not changed the sitch. When I look at them, all they do is remind me why I did them in the first place. I did it not so much for me, but because of the sitch. I would not have done some of them if it weren't for the sitch.
You have to do them for you, otherwise they're not genuine. Maybe that comes through to her?
The thing I really want to do for myself is first to find out what the heck is so unappealing about me, but I can't ask because that is "pursuing".
Maybe that depends on how you go about it? Maybe if you tell her that you want to know what drove her away, so that you can work on yourself for yourself, and so that you don't continue making the same mistakes in your next relationship and so could really use her insights on you, would be the way to ask? That way, it doesn't come off as you're asking her what's wrong with you so as to make changes for the purpose of getting her back.
